Why Do You Persecute Me?

I was in New York City this past weekend and attended church at Fifth Avenue Presbyterian, where the reading was Paul’s conversion story from Acts 9. I know about the blinding light on the road to Damascus, but I hadn’t heard the story in a long time.

When I think of Paul’s conversion story I remember how a man who had persecuted early Christians encountered Christ, changed his life, and built the church across the ancient world. I remember that conversion of the heart is always possible in large and small ways. This conception of Acts 9 conveniently forgets Jesus’ first words to Paul: “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”

Hearing Christ’s question struck me in a new and profound way. Jesus didn’t scold Saul or lecture him on all the horrible things he had done. Jesus simply asked him: “why?”

In hearing Acts 9 read in church I felt Jesus ask me that same question in my pew. I work in a prosecutor’s office that’s closely aligned with the police; my colleagues and I make decisions that fundamentally change lives for better and for worse. I work inside the criminal legal system in order to change it into a more humane and compassionate process. I know that I’m tinkering within a massive machine, yet I grab my little toolbox each day and head to work. Although, anyone engaged in system change knows that systems often change those of us working on the inside more than we change them.

Christ’s powerful question to Paul reminded me that I must continuously ask myself how my actions are potentially persecuting Jesus. Jesus is clear in Matthew 25:40 — “Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did it to me.”

My goal is to help, but history is full of “helping” people who caused great harm. I see Jesus’ question as a guiding light to stay grounded and committed to the mission: “why do you persecute me?” I hope that this question keeps me both humbled and convicted.

I encourage you to take a humble look at your life and hear Christ’s question to you: “why do you persecute me?” This was the question that fundamentally changed Paul. Maybe it will do the same for you.

Text copyright © 2023 Grace Woodward. All rights reserved.